If you don't like the way you're being treated, then simply refuse to be treated that way.

Alanis Lyrics Underneath



Look at us breaking our bones in this kitchen
Look at us rallying all our defenses
Look at us waging war in our bedroom
Look at us jumping ship in our dialogues

There is no difference
In what we’re doing in here
That doesn’t show up as bigger symptoms out there
So why spend all our time undressing our bandages
When we’ve the ultimate key to the cause
right here all underneath.

Look at us form our cliques in our sandbox
Look at us micro kids with both our hearts blocked
Look at us turn away from all the rough spots
Look at dictatorship on my own block

There is no difference
In what we’re doing in here
That doesn’t show up as bigger symptoms out there
So why spend all our time undressing our bandages
When we’ve the ultimate key to the cause
right here all underneath.

How I’ve spun my wheels
With carts before my horse
When shine on the outside springs from illusion
Spotlight on these seeds of simpler reasons
And score born into form, stretching my limit

There is no difference
In what we’re doing in here
That doesn’t show up as bigger symptoms out there
So why spend all our time undressing our bandages
When we’ve the ultimate key to the cause
right here all underneath.

***

Here is a WOMAN who is not afraid to admit that sometimes the problem starts with US.

Sure, there are bigger problems outside ourselves that can make things difficult, but the ultimate power lies within ourselves to be agents of change.

Especially here in the United States, we still have enough freedom and power to live our lives free of the old structures.

You don't like breaking your bones in the kitchen? Then don't settle for a man who won't cook. Or, make it easier on yourself by eating out more. Or simply, refuse to "break your bones" in the kitchen. Cook for yourself, if your man gets hungry, he will fend for himself. And if he divorces you over something like that, then you're better off without him.

Don't jump ship in your dialogues "just to spare his ego". The more untrue you are to yourself and your own needs, the more resentment you will feel against someone else who cannot read your mind.

Be who you are, don't try to put the cart before the horse and completely blame big institutionalized things like Mormonism, etc. Figure out what you want and go and get it. Don't blame others for your problems.

Refuse to play the clique game. If you don't really want kids, don't have them. Look the rough spots full in the face and work to make yourselves stronger because of them... and if you don't like the rough spots, maybe you're not cut out for the relationship.

You always have a choice. Start aiming for what YOU want, instead of doing what society says you should do and want. Be honest with yourself and everyone around you, and don't settle for anything less than the best, whether from yourself or anyone else.

And if you're afraid you'll die, assert yourself anyway. Dying is better than living shackled to something that is oppressing you.

Work from the inside first: make sure that you are being fair and honest and not just milking the system yourself. Be an equal, and expect to be treated as such.