If you don't like the way you're being treated, then simply refuse to be treated that way.

Alanis Lyrics Underneath



Look at us breaking our bones in this kitchen
Look at us rallying all our defenses
Look at us waging war in our bedroom
Look at us jumping ship in our dialogues

There is no difference
In what we’re doing in here
That doesn’t show up as bigger symptoms out there
So why spend all our time undressing our bandages
When we’ve the ultimate key to the cause
right here all underneath.

Look at us form our cliques in our sandbox
Look at us micro kids with both our hearts blocked
Look at us turn away from all the rough spots
Look at dictatorship on my own block

There is no difference
In what we’re doing in here
That doesn’t show up as bigger symptoms out there
So why spend all our time undressing our bandages
When we’ve the ultimate key to the cause
right here all underneath.

How I’ve spun my wheels
With carts before my horse
When shine on the outside springs from illusion
Spotlight on these seeds of simpler reasons
And score born into form, stretching my limit

There is no difference
In what we’re doing in here
That doesn’t show up as bigger symptoms out there
So why spend all our time undressing our bandages
When we’ve the ultimate key to the cause
right here all underneath.

***

Here is a WOMAN who is not afraid to admit that sometimes the problem starts with US.

Sure, there are bigger problems outside ourselves that can make things difficult, but the ultimate power lies within ourselves to be agents of change.

Especially here in the United States, we still have enough freedom and power to live our lives free of the old structures.

You don't like breaking your bones in the kitchen? Then don't settle for a man who won't cook. Or, make it easier on yourself by eating out more. Or simply, refuse to "break your bones" in the kitchen. Cook for yourself, if your man gets hungry, he will fend for himself. And if he divorces you over something like that, then you're better off without him.

Don't jump ship in your dialogues "just to spare his ego". The more untrue you are to yourself and your own needs, the more resentment you will feel against someone else who cannot read your mind.

Be who you are, don't try to put the cart before the horse and completely blame big institutionalized things like Mormonism, etc. Figure out what you want and go and get it. Don't blame others for your problems.

Refuse to play the clique game. If you don't really want kids, don't have them. Look the rough spots full in the face and work to make yourselves stronger because of them... and if you don't like the rough spots, maybe you're not cut out for the relationship.

You always have a choice. Start aiming for what YOU want, instead of doing what society says you should do and want. Be honest with yourself and everyone around you, and don't settle for anything less than the best, whether from yourself or anyone else.

And if you're afraid you'll die, assert yourself anyway. Dying is better than living shackled to something that is oppressing you.

Work from the inside first: make sure that you are being fair and honest and not just milking the system yourself. Be an equal, and expect to be treated as such.

Interesting Song

I'm not threatened, by every pair of legs you watch go by
I don't cringe when you stare at women, it's just a thing called guy
I don't notice your side ways glances or where your loyalty lies
I'm secure and out of me, it's hard to get a rise

I'm not jealous
I don't get moved by much
I'm not enraged
Not insecure as such
Not going insane
Rational stays in touch
Doth I protest too much?

I'm not tortured by how oft your busy, Cause I've got things to do
I'm not disappointed about how you don't miss you me, cause I don't need you to

I'm not needy
I don't get clingy much
I'm not scared
I'm not afraid as such
I'm not dependent
Rock solid, stays in touch
And Doth I protest too much?

So much energy to prove to you
Who I can't possibly be
So much energy to prove to you
I'm not who you hate for me to be

I'm not saddened
And I don't miss you
Cause I have moved on too
I'm not concerned about your new lover
Cause I have a new lover too

I'm not depressed
I don't get down that much
I'm not despondent
I am not dark as such
I'm never sad
Keep Chin Up, Stays in touch
And Doth I protest too much?

I'm not jealous
I don't get moved by much
I'm not enraged
Not insecure as such
Not going insane
Rational stays in touch
And Doth I protest too much?
***

My only commentary is this: I actually AM more rational than most other women, because I can tell when I'm being irrational and if I can TALK ABOUT HOW I FEEL, then the irrationality subsides.

I just remember other relationships where the above lyrics applied to me. I was using all my energy to pretend that it didn't bother me when the other person was obviously lying about "studying" just to get some time away from me. Now, a rational approach may have started a fight, but I didn't want to come off as "needy" or "suspicious", so I downplayed my own emotions and tried to be what I thought guys wanted.

Just wait until you find the RIGHT guy, ladies. There are a very few out there who care about you as much as you care about them, and they will understand when you're a little irrational, and they'll help you get back to a nice rational centered place instead of teasing you mercilessly and threatening to break up with you because of your spurts of hormone-induced rationality.

Fertility means there will be times when women are less rational... a wise man would never suggest that a woman should be less "hormonal" or anything of the like.

Oh, Alanis, how you say the things I was never able to say out loud until now.

Party

So, I had a party this weekend in celebration of my birthday. I would have had it last weekend, but the company was doing inventory and I was the ONLY one out of all my friends there who DIDN'T have to work Saturday night.

So the party was this Saturday night... booze & food, rock band, general bitching about work... No one showed up until like 9:30, but about 5 out of the 25 invited came, and it was a great party. The people make the party, let me tell you.

The cops were called.

We forgot to warn my neighbors about the party and invite them to come... so one of my dick neighbors called the cops for a noise violation. Just a warning, no biggie...but that made the party EVEN BETTER! We put on some Bach and put the ROCK BAND away (This is one of my favorite songs on there, btw), and had a good time.

I was very drunk and so was Alan... it was an awesome little party! Alan's birthday is in two weeks, so we're going to have to save up our livers for that party...not that we feel like drinking at ALL after a party like that.

Woo!

New Favorite Song!

via videosift.com

We've been singing this little song to ourselves for a day now... it's stuck in my head ALL THE TIME! YAY for black mesa and portal!

My hamster is dead.

Apparently so is something else.

Kudos to her for getting out of that situation. Cheaters never prosper, and I know firsthand that she can do so much better.